Alexis Rivera_Open Letter_Draft Two

Dear Lori Alexander,

This past summer a blog post of yours went viral, igniting the Internet aflame with arguments on either side, as people were eager to agree or disagree with the opinions you shared in “Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins without Tattoos.” You remind the young women of my generation to consider the implications that attending a secular university may have on their futures, and more specifically their futures in relation to a man. I implore you to consider the nature of what you are asking young women to do, and why you want them to do it.

As a Christian woman myself, I agree with the idea that we should live a life pleasing to God, because His ways are the best. But I contend that God does not have the same things in mind for each of His children. For instance, while He might have called you into a life of motherhood and tending to your household, I personally do not see this as a life that God is currently calling me to lead, and I am sure that this rings true for other women as well. Your post assumes that God has called most if not all women down a path that closely resembles your own, but this fails to take into account God’s personal relationship with each person, and His own ask of them. He may not call each person into marriage, and may not give him or her the gift of a child. Many women may not get married out of choice, and many other women may desire marriage, but were never able to get married. There are other women still that may not be able to have children, or may not want them. Rather than prescribe advice to young women with the assumption that they will get married and have children, I would instead ask that you encourage women to follow where the Holy Spirit leads, regardless of where that might be.

Along these same lines, it seems important to remind you that the world is an incredibly diverse place, with people of all different backgrounds. Although many people come to know Christ through their familial upbringing, others come to Christ later in life, when they have already become collegiate women, or mothers, lawyers, doctors, chefs, etc. Many still do not know, and many others have decided to walk away from Christianity for various reasons. Each person’s experiences make them who they are, and they remain important before, after, and if they ever come to know God. If they have been married multiple times before, have tattoos, and have debt that they may never be able to pay, they are still important people. In fact, they may even be living a Christ-like life in ways that I never have, and I may need to take a pointer or two from them. There is no one way to be a Christian, and I would be fearful of a religion that demanded its members to lose the pieces of them that make them who they are.

In conclusion Ms. Alexander, I wish not to offend or condemn you, since you are simply stating what you believe, I suppose much in the same way that I am. But I do ask this of you: remain open to learning things you have yet to encounter, and do not be afraid to see other Christians around you that look vastly different from what you see in the mirror.

Loyally,

Alexis Rivera